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How to Approach Online Dating as a Christian

We are always talking about it – dating. It seems everyone is doing this. If you have ever been curious about online dating but are not sure how to go about it, this article might offer some guidance. Online dating can be used by Christians, and there are dating sites and applications specifically designed to help Christians find each other. A few of us have considered this as an option however, we are unsure how to approach it. Hopefully, this article opens the discussion to the possibilities of online dating for the Christian.

3 Reasons Why

The first question we would usually ask is should we even use online dating as a Christian. Many have argued that it is taking control out of God’s hand and going ahead of Him. However, here are possible reasons why many have chosen to use this as their route to a relationship or marriage.

  1. Convenience – When time is limited, this could be more convenient to find someone suitable Less time is used to meet new people. It is accessible anywhere and everywhere with phone applications.
  2. Availability of choice – Online dating allows an opening to engage with potentials from all over the world. The networks and variety are as vast as the app allows. We can meet people who are different from our usual choice.
  3. Intentionality – A large majority of these apps allow the user to filter down their selection to people seeking the same type of relationship. Additionally, the user can post what they are looking for on their page, creating more intentional interactions.

Purpose & Priorities

When online dating, we can be very purposeful in our approach. We can do this by setting out our priorities before we decide to download an app. What are we looking for? A Christian. This is more than someone who ticks Christian in their bio, we need to seek people who genuinely believe in Jesus. Not only that, but those whom we are also compatible with.

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

2 Corinthians 6:14

Even two ox yoked together can pull in different directions if they are not compatible. We should look for alignment of visions, goals and expectations as well as a fervent faith. Are we going in the same direction and can our lives merge? Do our visions for marriage align? A Christian actively seeking other Christians will make an effort to be as open as possible about their faith on their page. Use the filters to reduce unnecessary conversations and save time.

Additionally, instead of trying a multitude of dating apps at the same time, focus on one app for a time. Assess the choices available and choose what is most suitable for you. As a Christian, an app where the chances of meeting a like-minded Christian is higher should be the most appropriate choice. Ask the advice of friends or others from your community who have used dating apps.

Hands pointing at a Laptop

Active accountability

This is a crucial part of approaching online dating in a healthy and open way. Do not do it in isolation or secretly. Let someone know you are on the app, discuss with them any potential and seek their advice whenever possible. People have been known to hide their use of online dating as a secret when it should not be. We are children of light, not darkness. God sees our actions and knows our heart’s intent (Psalm 139:1).

For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light

Luke 8:17

Ultimately, we should pray about our choices, looking for discernment and guidance from the Holy Spirit but equally our friends and family members can offer us advice. They see who we are, know what we are about and desire the best for us.

On an online dating app, it is more likely the person is single, yet it is not always guaranteed. There are benefits of shared counsel. It can help us to avoid disappointment and heartbreak if extra reconnaissance is done from our support systems. Every believer should be plugged into a local church; this provides further accountability for both individuals.

Patient Pursuit

All types of dating require patience and time. Online dating does offer a more speedy process. If we see someone we find attractive and desire to know more, we send them a like. If they don’t respond, it typically means interest is not reciprocated. On the other hand, if we match then we are at least assured there is initial mutual interest. Then we can both move on to find out more about the other through conversation and possibly outings. It is quick and can happen in less than a day or week.

The danger of this method is how swiftly we can find ourselves swiping on every person we find attractive. I urge us to take time as we would in another scenario. Patiently read through the profile, all information provided and ensure this is a person we would like to know more about. If we change our minds, kindly communicate that to the person. We should love with affection, tenderness and graciously (Ephesians 5:32).

The world is changing. We are more used to interacting and even meeting people through online platforms and social media. Although the desire for marriage will remain, we can choose different routes to reach it. Online dating is another possible option to meet Christian people interested in a romantic relationship.

Author

  • A lover of Jesus and spoken word, Oluwaseyi is passionate about people finding their purpose in Christ. She is currently in her final year of an apprenticeship in Architecture. When Seyi is not studying or working, she likes to read a good book with a cup of Chai.

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Oluwaseyi Sobogun
A lover of Jesus and spoken word, Oluwaseyi is passionate about people finding their purpose in Christ. She is currently in her final year of an apprenticeship in Architecture. When Seyi is not studying or working, she likes to read a good book with a cup of Chai.